Owariyokereba
by Mikauzoran
Summary: After an argument with Shinichi about the worthwhileness of getting "married" in a country that won't recognize their union, Kaito crashes at Hakuba's and throws him a housewarming party. Meanwhile, Hakuba and Sera like each other but lack the courage to confess…especially since Sera thinks Hakuba likes Kaito. Can these two couples work things out and get together?
1. KaiShin

Mikau: Happy New Year, guys! This is actually my fic for Poirot Café's Prompt Exchange 2. It got a little too long to go with the others, so…here it is in two chapters. By the way, the title means "If it ends well…". As in, "All's Well That Ends Well". This was supposed to be a HakuSera fic where Hakuba takes care of Sera when she gets drunk, but…KaiShin took over. The first chapter is mostly KaiShin, and then the HakuSera stuff happens in chapter two.

Also! Today we've got a bunch of new ones. I've got a Heizuha fic where Heiji and Kazuha confess on Christmas Eve called No Help for Idiots. There's also a KaiRan fic called Coming to Terms wherein Kaito spends Christmas Eve with Conan, Ran, and Kogoro and finds out Conan's identity. And then there's Sisterly Advice in which Kaito gives a teenage Ayumi advice on life and relationships. So we've got a full dance card today. ^.^; I'll stop talking so you can go ahead and enjoy now.

Disclaimer: DCMK is the intellectual property of Aoyama Gosho, and the prompt for this fic was sent in by neonquincy1217 on Poirot Café.

…

Chapter One: KaiShin

Hakuba Saguru wasn't sure if he wanted to murder Kaito slowly with fish and duct tape or buy him imported designer chocolates.

It had started with a "congrats on your new apartment" party that Saguru had neither requested nor desired.

"Seriously? But you've _got_ to have a housewarming party!" Kaito whined, even as he finished writing "apartment!" in elaborate pigeon scrawl on the banner. "I mean…I've already invited everyone." Kaito blinked up at Saguru innocently.

Hakuba fought desperately against the urge to break one of his expensive, new dining room chairs over his best friend's head. He came to the conclusion that the furniture didn't deserve it, so he instead growled at Kaito, "And you didn't think it pertinent to inform me of your plans?"

"Slipped my mind?" Kaito chuckled nervously.

Saguru glared flaming piranhas of death.

"Oh, come ON," Kaito sighed, setting his brush down on the paint tray and getting to his feet to pout at his friend. "Why don't you want to welcome our friends into our new home to have fun, make memories, and celebrate our milestone step into adulthood?"

"Kuroba, there is no 'our'. _You_ live with your boyfriend—God help him. This is MY apartment," Saguru clarified once and for all…or so he thought.

"But you get custody of me sometimes when Shin-chan's out of town on business or when we fight and I get all petty and pouty and pretend to consider leaving him until he comes begging with chocolate," Kaito countered matter-of-factly.

"And if you keep up your manipulative fits, one of these days he's going to come to his senses, decide to cut his losses, and dump you permanently onto my hands," Saguru cautioned, fearing for his own sanity as much as his friend's relationship.

Kaito rolled his eyes with a snort. "Yeah right. He's well aware he's got a good thing going. I brew his coffee just the way he likes it, and I'm the homemaking goddess that that dusty old manor has always needed. He's come to rely on me—almost unhealthily so—so there's no way he'd ever leave me," Kaito declared with unwavering certainty. And then an impish grin spread across his lips as he added, "Plus, as you're aware, I'm a rollercoaster in bed. I'm not easy to just walk away from. I frankly don't know how _you_ managed it after our night together."

Saguru's cheeks broke out like a wildfire in crimson. "Now hold on just a minute! I have absolutely NO personal knowledge of you in bed!" the mortified Brit gasped like a drowning goldfish.

Kaito coquettishly tipped his head to the side. "Oh? But there's no way you've forgotten about our epic one night stand together! You weren't _that_ drunk."

"I was!" Saguru insisted emphatically, arms flailing in vain protest. "Because I had just found out that the woman I had intended to spend the rest of my life with was cheating on me! With another woman! I was distraught and mentally impaired, and you took advantage of me!"

Kaito rolled his eyes once more and sighed, running a hand through his hair. "If you'll remember, I was pretty out of sorts and drunk myself. That was back when Shinichi was still getting over Ran and trying to figure out his sexuality, so he ended up jerking me around a lot. I was already halfway down a bottle of port when you came home 'distraught', so I let _you_ take advantage of _me_."

Saguru's mouth opened and closed three times in succession as he tried to MacGyver together a rebuttal. Finally he decided on, "Kuroba, this is my apartment, and mine alone, so you are not to throw a party. Do you understand me?"

"Haku-chan, you specifically got a two bedroom apartment so that I'd have a room here," Kaito reminded, undeterred in his quest for a housewarming party.

"That's a guestroom!" Saguru hissed, composure in tatters. "Not just for you, but for…for guests!"

"Then why's my stuff in it?" Kaito replied coolly. "Haku-chan, I'm the only guest you ever have."

Hakuba heaved a lead-laced sigh as he sank down onto one of the barstools at the island. "…What time are they coming?" he inquired, accepting his defeat gracefully.

"Guests will be here at seven, but Sono-chan's coming in an hour to start decorating," Kaito chirped happily as he started to clean up his banner painting supplies. "I think she's got the caterer scheduled to come at…six? Six thirty? I don't know. I left most of the details to the professional event planner."

"I'm sure Sonoko-san did a fabulous job and it's going to be a wonderful evening of making sure no one spills wine on the sofa and cleaning up the busted shards of my table lamps after some drunk knocks them over," Saguru lamented in advance.

"You fret too much," Kaito chuckled. "Besides, I'll clean up tomorrow."

"No one is allowed in my bedroom," Saguru instructed in a tone that let Kaito know that he meant business.

"You might change your mind about that later after Mi-chan shows up," Kaito snickered.

Hakuba blinked. "M-Masumi-san is coming?"

Kaito smirked mischievously.

…

The party was well under way, and, so far, nothing had gone horribly wrong in the ways Saguru had feared. No one spilled wine on the couch or the rug, and no drunks had bumped into the table lamps, sending them to their demise. Beer, however, sloshed everywhere; Saguru had to break out the mop so that the people on the dance floor, alternately having epileptic fits and sex standing up, didn't slip and fall and sue him. The lamps (may they rest in peace…or pieces, rather) met their end when a couple making out on the sofa got a little too passionate. One of the participants whacked the lamp as her arm flailed wildly while, at the same time, the other girl accidentally kicked the lamp on the opposite end table.

At ten o'clock, Saguru gave up, slumping down onto one of the barstools and grabbing a beer to nurse as he watched his beautiful new apartment wrecked and ravaged right before his very eyes.

It was then that he happened to catch sight of Kaito out on the dance floor. He was wearing his skimpy little party dress—the one that Kaito had before informed Saguru that Kudo liked to take off of Kaito with his teeth—and dirty dancing with none other than Sera Masumi…who was looking good in a sky blue button down, red tie, and white dress pants…that looked oddly familiar.

Saguru wondered if that color combination had been a deliberate choice…possibly influenced by Kaito just to get a rise out of Saguru. Kaito would probably tease him later. Something along the lines of "What did you think of Mi-chan's outfit tonight?" and if Saguru happened to say that it had looked attractive on her, Kaito would probably make a big deal about some kind of supposed Kid fetish that Saguru was allegedly harboring.

Kaito enjoyed messing with Saguru like that. And sometimes Hakuba wondered how much was a joke and how much real feeling was behind Kaito's words and actions. If Saguru wasn't ninety percent sure that Kaito was head over heels in a happily committed relationship with Kudo, he just might start to think that Kaito had feelings for _him_. That Kaito's teasing was a desperate cry for the love Kaito wasn't getting from his mystery geeky, workaholic, run-off-in-the-middle-of-a-date-to-solve-a-case boyfriend.

…Hmm.

Saguru knew that Kaito and Kudo's relationship was a little dysfunctional, but…

Kaito just happened to look up from where he was giving a giggling-her-head-off drunk Masumi a standing lap dance, and Kaito and Saguru's eyes met.

Kaito whispered something to Sera, and she looked at Saguru too. She blushed—or maybe that was just the alcohol rising in her cheeks—smiled, and shyly waved her fingers at Saguru.

Saguru had raised his hand to wave back when Kaito grabbed Masumi by the arm and dragged her over to where Saguru was sitting.

"Guru! Come dance with us!" Kaito laughed boisterously, flinging is arms around Saguru's neck and giving the Brit a big smack on the lips.

Kaito tasted like about a gallon of strawberry daiquiris.

"Kuroba, you are drunk. Why don't we take you to your bedroom where you can sober up a little, yes?" the only sober party suggested, trying to simultaneously keep a hold of Kaito so as to help him to the bedroom but also keep Kaito at arms' length so as to avoid any more smooching or groping.

Kaito blinked. "You want to go to my bedroom? Okay. Just don't tell my boyfriend. Oh! And Mi-chan needs to come too!" Kaito turned to Sera and asked in earnest, "Mi-chan, you wanna have a threesome?"

Masumi's cheeks lit up like an exit sign. "Uh…s-sure, Kai-chan. Whatever you say," she replied complaisantly to Kaito, even as she gave Hakuba a look that plainly said, "Let's get him out of here. I'm worried."

"Awesome!" Kaito trilled with a drunken giggle. "Then let's go to _your_ room, Guru. Your bed is bigger." Kaito tried to pull on Saguru's arm, but he lost his balance and would have fallen over backwards if Sera and Hakuba hadn't steadied him.

"Careful," Saguru admonished. "Kuroba, you seem more and more drunk by the second. Are you quite all right?"

"Oh yeah," Kaito assured…but then a minute later admitted, "Actually…the room's kind of spinning, so…"

Hakuba sighed heavily. "Okay. Hold still." And in one impressive movement, Saguru literally swept Kaito off of his six inch stilettos.

Sera's eyes widened in awe as Saguru proceeded to carry Kaito up the stairs to Saguru's room. She began to wonder if she too was slightly more inebriated than she had originally thought. She'd only had three beers, but…she didn't usually start hallucinating her crush doing and saying fairy tale knight-like things until beer number four.

"My hero," Kaito giggled, resting his head on Saguru's shoulder.

"The things I do for friendship," Saguru grunted under the strain.

"I'll get the door," Sera volunteered as they approached the landing.

"Yes please," Saguru hissed through gritted teeth. "One hundred and thirty pounds is…a little more than I usually…carry."

"Heeeey," Kaito whined. "I'm not fat."

"I didn't say…you…were! Oh. Goodness," Saguru sighed and panted as he set Kaito down on the bed.

"Saguru-kun's just weak," Masumi helpfully placated the little drunk. "You're perfect the way you are, Kai-chan."

"Oh. Good," Kaito slurred, fumbling with his shoes, trying to get them off. "So…how do we want to…I mean…who wants to…" Kaito blinked, gaze unfocused. "I don't feel so good."

Saguru grabbed the rubbish bin and got it to Kaito just in time to avoid a huge mess on the floor.

Sera sat down on the bed beside Kaito and rubbed calming circles on his back as Kaito got it all out.

When Kaito had finished, he reported that he was sorry, but he needed a nap before he'd be able to romp. He kindly advised Sera and Hakuba to go ahead and start without him, though. And then he promptly passed out.

"Kaito?!" Sera yelped, trying to support her now limp friend.

Saguru sighed, setting down the trash can and rushing to Masumi's aid. "Here. Let's just lay him down and roll him over onto his side," he coached, helping to get Kaito into that position.

"Do we need to get him to the doctor?" Sera wondered aloud anxiously. She herself had thrown up and passed out before after overindulging at a party back in high school when she was stateside, but…seeing someone she loved dearly like a sister in such rough shape…

"He'll be okay," Saguru assured her, resting a firm hand gently on her shoulder. "He's breathing normally, and his coloring is fine. I'll keep an eye on him, and if anything seems wrong, I'll make sure he gets medical attention, but, for now, I think we're okay letting him sleep it off."

"If you're sure." Sera frowned, wishing there was something she could do.

"Believe me," Saguru stressed. "I'll be the first to panic and launch into mother hen mode over Kaito in the event of an emergency."

Sera nodded and sighed as she got to her feet, going over to look out the screen glass door leading out onto the balcony. "…I shouldn't have let him drink so much."

"It's not your fault," Hakuba rushed to reassure her. "He didn't seem _too_ drunk when he was out on the dance floor with you. All the alcohol seemed to catch up to him at once while we were over by the island. You had no way of knowing how much was too much for him. He should have been keeping track of that himself."

Saguru paused and frowned down at his sleeping friend. "Usually he does a much better job of staying just on the tipsy side of drunk. I wonder if someone put something in his drink or… Maybe he's feeling lonely without Kudo in town. His boyfriend's been gone almost a week now, so maybe Kaito's just feeling a little—"

"—Kudo's not out of town," Sera broke in suddenly, turning to look at Saguru in confusion.

The blonde blinked. "What?"

"Kudo's not out of town," Masumi repeated. "I saw him the day before yesterday."

"Then why is Kaito staying with me?" Saguru's frowned deepened. "Kaito told me that Kudo would be gone for a week, so…"

Masumi pursed her lips, reluctant to spread other people's private matters around. But it was just Saguru, and Saguru, as Kaito's real life shoulder angel, had a right to know, right? "It's probably because of the fight they had."

"Fight?" Saguru felt incredibly stupid. "What fight? Kaito never mentioned…" Worse, Saguru had never suspected. He hadn't even noticed anything was wrong.

Sera squirmed a bit as she repeated what Kaito had told her in drunken confidence just an hour before. "It wasn't so much a fight as… Well…You know how sentimental and romantic Kaito is. He wants to get married and have a family and…well, be a stereotypical housewife/homemaker out of the American fifties. It means a lot to him to do everything 'right', go through the prescribed motions like all other couples do, but…Kudo…not so much."

Saguru nodded. Since the beginning Kaito had been talking about how he imagined Shinichi would propose, what their wedding would be like, where they would go for their honeymoon. Saguru knew how much it meant to Kaito to be "normal", to solemnize their bond, to exchange physical symbols that would reassure Kaito when things got tough that they'd make it because they'd committed themselves to one another in marriage. It was a BIG deal.

"Well, apparently the other day Kaito asked Kudo when he was thinking about taking their relationship to the next level, and Kudo told him that he wasn't, that there wasn't any point in spending all that money to have a wedding that the government wouldn't even recognize. You can imagine how Kaito felt about that piece of news. And, according to Kaito, the whole time Kudo was working on some paperwork and not even looking at Kaito, so it seemed like that was a big deal for Kaito too."

Saguru sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "I see. Knowing Kaito, he's probably feeling used and cheated." He looked down at the sleeping brunette and shook his head. "The little dope is probably questioning Kudo's feelings for him and wondering if he was the only one taking the relationship seriously, if he was the only one it meant anything to."

"Yeah," Sera hummed, coming over to Saguru's side to look down anxiously at Kaito. "Poor Kai-chan. Commitment means so much to him."

"Especially what with his abandonment issues because of his stupid, selfish parents," Saguru snarled softly. "Until Kudo puts a ring on his finger, Kaito's constantly going to be wondering when Kudo's going to leave him. So that's why Kaito's been acting out this week, throwing himself at me and now getting himself drunk…. I'm going to kill Kudo."

"I'll help," Masumi offered almost immediately. "…Though…he probably has no idea what he's done. Kudo's kind of an oblivious idiot. He probably doesn't even realize Kaito's upset at him, so he doesn't know he's in the doghouse, so he doesn't know to come back groveling…. God, these two are hopeless," she sighed, burying her face in her palms.

"I swear. I'm going to write a user manual entitled 'How to Train Your Kaitou' and give it to Kudo for Christmas," Saguru seethed, wishing he could throttle the idiot couple that kept complicating his life.

"God knows he could use it," Sera chuckled softly, leaning up against the dresser. "…And you're the one to write it. Undeniably, _you_ know Kaito the best of anyone."

Hakuba shrugged, completely missing the wistful tone in his crush's voice. "Well, I _have_ been with him for a decade now, trying to get inside his head to better enable me to capture him…and then as a friend, a roommate…and then some."

"You two are really close, huh?" Sera sighed yet again.

Saguru's gaze thawed, and he looked down lovingly at the sleeping Kaito. "Our family situations are both crap, so…Kaito's the closest thing I have after Baaya. He's the annoying little brother that I always wanted but never had the courage to ask my parents for."

"He means a lot to you," Masumi whispered, trying to keep her jealousy at bay.

"That's why I put up with his crap and work so hard to keep him happy," Saguru grumbled, pulling out his phone.

"Who are you calling?" Sera glanced down at Kaito, fearing that his conditioned had suddenly worsened and that Saguru was phoning an ambulance.

"Kudo," Saguru replied coldly. "To give him a piece of my—Yes. Hello," Saguru cut himself off as Shinichi picked up on the other end of the line. "This is Hakuba. Come over here and get your boyfriend…. _Yes_ now. Immediately! And bring chocolate…. Yes. He's so upset that he's been trying to get me into bed with him…. Why is he upset? Do you remember a conversation you had with him about a week ago about how you two having a wedding would be a waste of money since it wouldn't mean anything official? Well, it means something to Kaito. A _big_ something. Until you publically commit to each other in front of your family and friends, Kaito is always going to second guess your relationship and doubt your feelings for him. So you have thirty minutes to get your butt over here and propose to him, or _I'm_ going to do it. I swear I'll take him from you and you won't get him back. Do we…" Saguru trailed off, lowering his phone and frowning at it. "…understand one another. He hung up on me. I suppose that means he's either fed up with Kaito and has given me his blessing because he can't deal with the drama anymore…or he's rushing to get here before I can lay a finger on his beloved."

"I'll bet it's the second one." Sera smiled softly, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Good for Kai-chan. I'm glad he's got so many people that love him so much."

"I don't know how," Saguru snorted. "He's obnoxious and high maintenance."

"But that doesn't change the fact that you…you love him." She forced herself to say it out loud, to acknowledge it as fact.

"Is it really love or just Stockholm syndrome?" Saguru wondered, taking a seat on the bed. He gazed contemplatively at Kaito, shaking his head and smiling.

Sera was quiet for a minute or two before she gathered the courage to ask, "Have you ever seriously thought about taking Kaito away from Kudo?"

There was an almost audible crack as Saguru's gaze snapped from Kaito to Masumi. "B-Beg pardon?"

"I mean, I know it's got to drive you bonkers," Sera muttered, her own gaze dropping to the floor. "The way Kudo treats Kai-chan sometimes. He never means to be cruel or neglectful, but…Kudo gets wrapped up in cases and forgets, or he doesn't realize how important something is to Kaito. For a certified genius, Kudo can be totally clueless when it comes to relationships and romance, so Kaito ends up getting hurt a lot, even though Kudo loves him like crazy. Kudo doesn't know how to take care of Kaito, so…I know it really makes you see red when Kaito gets hurt 'cause you care and you're super protective of him, so…I was just wondering if you've ever seriously thought about taking Kaito away and not giving him back." She shrank up and blushed when she realized she'd actually asked him. "S-Sorry. That's really personal. You don't have to answer that. I'm really sorry, Saguru-kun. It's the alcohol talking. I—"

"—It's fine," Saguru assured, a blush of his own coloring his cheeks. "I have, actually. When Kaito cries…" Saguru winced at the memories, the feelings that got drudged up along with them. "I honestly want to orchestrate Kudo's demise. That way, I can comfort Kaito once and for all for his loss and then help him move on to someone who won't screw with his feelings so much. There are times when I want to lock Kaito up and tell Kudo to sod off, but…" Hakuba shook his head slowly in remorse. "Unfortunately, Kudo is the one that Kaito chose, so there's nothing I can do in the matter. I can't go against Kaito's wishes; I can only be there for him when Kudo screws up or Kaito takes something Kudo said the wrong way and blows things out of proportion. Kaito's the only one that can decide to cut ties with Kudo."

Masumi traced circles on the floor with her toe. "…If I were Kai-chan…I would have chosen you."

Hakuba's face, neck, and ears broke out magenta. "Well, thank you, but Kaito's not interested in me," he chuckled, feeling slightly giddy…before he remembered that she had been drinking and it was probably just the alcohol making her say such wonderful things.

"Yes he is," Sera laughed a little bitterly. "All you have to do is look at him, listen to him talk to you, and you can see how he feels."

The three lines in Saguru's brow deepened in concern. He'd been afraid of this, but… "No. I think you're mistaken. Kaito's just playing around. He's a natural flirt, so it's not strange that he—"

"—But you two slept together," Masumi asserted, looking up at him, gaze unwavering. Her olive eyes pierced straight through him.

And Saguru could only gape in horror. There was nothing he could say in his own defense. She knew his secret: he wasn't a virgin because he'd recklessly given his first time to Kuroba Kaito.

"Didn't you?" she asked softly, hoping he would deny it, tell her that Kaito had been kidding or teasing or exaggerating when he'd told her about what had happened between them. "After you found out about Aoko-san and Akako-chan?"

Saguru's face blanched. "It was a drunken mistake. He was upset over Kudo, and I…I was understandably out of my mind for the entire month after finding out."

"Even drunk and distressed, I know you wouldn't sleep with someone you didn't feel _something_ for," she whispered ruefully, crossing her arms across her chest as she made her way to the door.

"Masumi-san?" Saguru blinked, completely baffled by the sudden accusatory heat in her words.

"I'm going downstairs, back to the party. I'll send Kudo up when he gets here," she threw over her shoulder sullenly as she beat a hasty retreat.

Saguru could only stare after her, nonplussed at the abrupt outbreak. He felt like he was missing something.

He turned back to Kaito's practically comatose form and studied it. "Why do I feel like you just got me in trouble?"

Kaito didn't answer, only slept on, breathing evenly.

…

Kudo arrived not fifteen minutes later, completely out of breath. His skin was as white as a picket fence and as clammy as the underbelly of a fish. He panted and puffed as he looked…oddly enough, exactly how Saguru had felt those years ago when he'd found out Aoko was cheating on him. Shinichi seemed to be utterly at a loss, completely devastated.

"K-Kaito," the desperate man gasped.

"Dead drunk and sleeping it off," Saguru retorted a little tersely. He knew it wasn't really Kudo's fault that he was an idiot, but Saguru still resented his more or less "brother-in-law" for the misunderstandings he caused. "Did you bring chocolate? He's going to want chocolate."

"Got something better," Shinichi preened (complexion improving drastically) as he removed a ring box from his breast pocket. "It was my grandmother's," Shinichi explained, catching his breath. "I'll get him a brand new wedding ring, but…for now…for the engagement ring…I think he'll appreciate the sentiment of receiving a ring that was 'in the family'."

Saguru reluctantly shrugged his right shoulder. "You're probably right on that count. He's a sucker for tradition, and being given a family heirloom should definitely help with his doubts and insecurities."

"I hope so," Shinichi sighed, hesitantly approaching. He smiled sadly down at Kaito before casting Saguru a grateful gaze. "Thank you so much, Hakuba. If it weren't for you…" He shook his head. "I'm such an idiot. I never know what Kaito needs and always end up screwing things up. I hate myself for hurting him like this."

Hakuba felt his heart soften a little at the earnest passion in Shinichi's words. "Don't beat yourself up too much. Kaito's feelings are delicate and easily bruised; he always overreacts, and he's high maintenance, so… Frankly, I'm impressed that you're able to put up with him consistently. I'll write you a user manual for Christmas, so don't worry about it too much. Just pay attention when he speaks. Think of him as a suspect and try to read the meaning underlying the actual words he says. See if that makes it any easier," Saguru offered, feeling generous.

Kudo grinned, all the color coming back to his face. "Thanks again, Hakuba. I'll try. I really will."

"Good. Very good." Saguru shifted uncomfortably and then got to his feet. "Well. Wake him up, then."

Shinichi knelt down beside the bed and gingerly cupped Kaito's cheek. He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Kaito's lips.

Kaito's eyes flickered open and gradually came into focus.

"Hey. Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," Shinichi hummed with a smile of pure love.

And it was then that Saguru knew for sure that Shinichi truly cherished Kaito.

"Shin'chi?" Kaito mumbled, struggling to push himself up to sitting. He blinked and frowned, and then a sort of semi-clarity came into his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Hakuba called me." Shinichi nodded to the other PI. "Kaito, I had no idea that having a wedding ceremony meant so much to you. I feel like such a jerk for what I said. Of _course_ I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you more than anything. I thought that you knew that, and I didn't think that it was necessary to go through all of the pomp and ceremony about it. I thought just being certain of how we felt about each other on our own was enough, and…I just didn't realize how important it was to you to publically declare those things. But I get it now, so…" Shinichi took the opportunity to raise up onto one knee and pull out the ring box. "Kaito, will you marry me?"

Saguru had to smile as Kaito's eyes clouded over with tears of joy.

Kaito nodded enthusiastically as he held out his hand for Shinichi to put the ring on. "Yes," he whispered, chuckling softly in a mix of elation and disbelief. "Only… Sorry. I'm kind of really drunk, so tomorrow, could you propose all over again so I'll be sure to remember it?" Kaito smiled sheepishly as he admired the ring one last time before handing it back. "It's really, really important to me, so I want to be able to tell our grandchildren about it…okay?"

Shinichi stood up, catching Kaito's lips in the process. He pulled away and smiled as he sat down beside his fiancé. "Tomorrow, we're gonna go on the most romantic date you have ever experienced, and I'll propose to you properly then. How's that sound?"

"Shinichi," Kaito gasped, throwing his arms around his true love as their lips crushed together.

Moans of "Shinichi" and "Kaito" alternatingly could be heard as things quickly devolved into a heavy petting session.

"Don't have sex in my bed!" Saguru squawked as he hurried out of his own bedroom.

Shinichi managed to pull his lips from Kaito's long enough to respond, "I'll buy you a new bed."

"Where am I going to sleep tonight?" Saguru wondered aloud…but didn't stick around long enough for the answer as Kaito's dress was ripped from his body by Shinichi's teeth.

…

Mikau: Well, thanks for reading, guys! I hope you had fun. Let me know what you thought! This was actually pretty crazy to write as I kind of busted out 8k in two or three days. ^.^; The next chapter should be out next weekend. I'll see you then!


	2. HakuSera

Mikau: Hey there, guys! Welcome back! Thank you so much to last chapter's reviewers: Opal Spirit, Flesh Delirium, and Shana-Fujioka! I hope you all enjoy this chapter too.

Disclaimer: DCMK is the intellectual property of Aoyama Gosho, and the prompt for this fic was sent in by neonquincy1217 on Poirot Café.

…

Chapter Two: HakuSera

Downstairs the party was raging…which was only a bad thing if you were one Hakuba Saguru.

Unfortunately, Hakuba Saguru was Hakuba Saguru, and it was a _very_ bad thing indeed that the party was STILL raging more than four hours after its inception.

Someone had finally gone and spilled wine on the sofa, and, more than just the table lamps, now one of the globes on the ceiling light fixture was smashed to bits.

It was the end of the world, so Saguru grabbed a beer, hunkered down on his barstool at the island, and watched the people on the dance floor still seizing and copulating in movements the young people nowadays apparently considered "dance".

At this point in the night, he really, _really_ wanted to kill Kaito slowly via fish torture. He'd start small with little Swedish Fish candies hidden in choice locations, and then he'd work his way up to dumping a tank of live fish onto Kaito as he slept.

Only…was he being too rash? Too cruel? Too severe?

Somehow the drunks managed to knock the curio cabinet over. It was a good thing there hadn't been anything in it yet, but…

"That's it!" Saguru exploded, heading for the plug on the stereo speakers. "Party's over. Everybody out! Go! It's midnight. Still time to catch the last train! Get. OUT!"

There was an inebriated mumble of confusion and dissention, but, over the next thirty minutes, gradually everyone trickled out. Except for those passed out on the floor, in the bathtub, on the kitchen counter, and (the lucky ones) in the various chairs Kaito and Sonoko had set out about the apartment for their guests' convenience.

Saguru went about checking vital signs, waking people up, and getting them squared away with cab drivers given addresses and adequate cash to ensure everyone's safe homecoming.

Except for Sera Masumi who was presently half collapsed in one of the folding chairs between the living room and the kitchen area.

"Masumi-san?" he called softly as he gently shook her arm.

She blinked sleepily, and a glass of…something clear—more likely vodka than water judging by the stench on her breath—dropped from her hand and shattered on the floor.

It splattered his shoes and both of their pant legs.

Fortunately, the clamor jarred Masumi awake and alert.

Unfortunately, the din made her jump, and she ended up conking noggins with her rouser.

After the prerequisite groans of pain and hurried apologies, Sera recognized her waker and immediately adopted a cool and aloof air. "Oh. Saguru-kun. How's Kai-chan?"

"Engaged." Saguru shrugged, straightening up as he rubbed his sore forehead. "And probably enjoying all sorts of carnal pleasures with his fiancé in my bed right about now. Unless they've finished and are merely snuggling during the pillow talk."

"And how do you feel about that?—The engaged part?" she hastily tacked on.

Saguru shrugged again. "Relieved and yet apprehensive. I don't believe anything will truly change. Kaito will just find new, different things to get upset about, and Kudo will do things that unintentionally hurt Kaito, and Kaito will still end up at my apartment for days at a time while Kudo and Kaito sort out their marital bliss."

Masumi gave a thoughtful hum and then changed topics. "Wow. People really cleared out, huh? What time is it?"

"Just after twelve twenty. If you like, I can get you a cab or walk you to the station?" he offered like a true gentleman. "It's no trouble at all, so don't worry."

"Nah. I'll be fine." Sera waved away his concern, and he believed her because, one, she looked an awful lot like a boy to those without Saguru's "fair maiden senses", and, two, Sera could easily wipe the floor with trained assassins, so she was probably okay getting home on her own.

Or so he thought until Masumi tried to stand up and nearly ended up on the floor.

Saguru caught her, though, and twin blushes reigned supreme on both of their faces.

"S-Sorry," Hakuba quickly shot back.

"Oh, no," Sera assured. "No big deal. Thank you. Sorry. I must be a little more buzzed than I thought."

"Quite all right," Saguru chuckled uneasily, helping her sit back down. "Why don't I drive you home? Wait just a minute while I go get the keys."

"Oh, you don't have—" she started to protest, but Hakuba cut her off.

"—I _insist_." He fixed her with a look of sincere concern. "I won't be able to sleep until I know for certain that you got home safe. It's my fault for not standing up to Kaito and refusing to have this party, so I at least want to make sure no harm is done because of it. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't escort you and something happened."

His gallant, chivalrous declaration left her speechless for a minute, but eventually she was able to nod in assent. "Okay."

He helped her down the stairs and to the car in a process that was extremely embarrassing for the both of them. Sera half hung off of Saguru as she was unable to get her legs to work properly on her own.

Needless to say, they were both incredibly self-conscious during the entire venture. Each was minutely aware of every point of contact between their two bodies. She could smell his aftershave; the scent of her shampoo filled his nostrils. She was warm and soft, smaller than she made herself look. He was tall and muscular, stronger than he appeared.

They road in silence to her hotel, just a few major intersections away.

He drove slowly and tried to keep his eyes on the road. They kept sneaking glances to his left. She was so close and yet so far at the same time. What would she do if she knew how he really felt about her? Would it ruin their tenuous bond as friends? She was more Kaito's friend than his. Would she push him away? Was he willing to risk it? …No. His heart had been shredded the first time he had entrusted it to someone. He didn't have the courage to offer it a second time. It was better to keep her close as a friend than to try for something more and lose it all in the process.

Meanwhile, Sera sighed, nibbling on her bottom lip as she stared, unseeing, out the window. He had been so close. She'd felt his heat against her skin as he'd half carried her, and it'd made her body ached…because he didn't love her like she loved him.

Because Saguru already had Kaito…even though Kaito had chosen Kudo.

They made it to the hotel, and Hakuba helped Masumi so that she didn't fall out of the vehicle and onto her face. He steadied her and, again, supported most of her weight as they walked together.

Sera was beginning to sober up a little bit, but she hid this fact so that she had an excuse to touch him…to have him touch her.

He assisted her into the elevator and down the hall, and he held her up while she fumbled for her keycard. They walked awkwardly, like participants in a three-legged race, over to the bed upon which Masumi was deposited with a soft "Oof".

"There," Saguru huffed, a little out of breath. "You think you'll be all right from here? I mean…you don't seem to be in danger of passing out, but…"

"'M fine," Sera muttered down at the floor, ashamed of the state she was in.

"Oh. Good," Saguru replied awkwardly, debating whether or not it was okay to just leave her. She seemed fine, but…she no longer lived with her small roommate, so there would be no one around to help if help was required.

"Thanks," Sera mumbled with a bright pink blush. "I'm sorry for the trouble."

"No trouble at all," Hakuba rushed to assure her. "I'm really happy to be of service, and, honestly, I'm the one who insisted…." He hesitantly added, "Besides, you're a dear friend of mine. I care about you, so…" His own cheeks burned like a sunset, and he hastily turned to go before he managed to say anything else stupid. "Well. I'll be off then. Take care."

"W-Wait!" she called, reaching out and grabbing his wrist.

And then they stared at each other, both equally unsure of what to do.

"Y-Yes?" Saguru gulped.

Masumi licked her lips nervously. It took her several seconds to come to a decision, but once she did, she carefully got to her feet and looked him in the eye.

"I'm just gonna say this before I sober up and come to my senses, 'cause there's no way I'll ever find the courage to say this if I'm not drunk." She took a deep breath and declared, "I know you're not emotionally available right now, but…but I…" She bit her lip, the words failing her.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head in frustration at her inability to say what she felt. "Oh, what the heck?" she sighed, launching forward and crushing her lips to his in a sloppy kiss.

Saguru was knocked off balance and sent tumbling onto the bed beside them. It took him a minute to realize that this was really happening. She was kissing him—fervently. Her hands were raking through his hair, snaking their way under his shirt. It was like many a daydream he'd had in the past…only she tasted like hard liquor instead of mint. And he worried that this might just be the alcohol and not Masumi.

"S-Stop," he gasped, pushing her off of him.

Sera blinked up at him, startled—mouth slightly open, cheeks peppermint pink.

Saguru scrambled to his feet, smoothing his clothes and his hair anxiously as he tried to piece together his thoughts. In the end he came up with, "I think you've had a little too much to drink, Masumi-san. If you'll excuse me…" And he bolted before he lost his conscience and took advantage of the situation.

…

Saguru trudged back into his wrecked, reeking apartment about twenty minutes later. He kicked beer cans out of his way as he headed for the stairs leading up to his bedroom. He stopped and sighed heavily when he heard animalistic moans coming from his room.

That's right. The newly engaged couple were still using his bedroom as a honeymoon suite.

He was going to _kill_ Kaito.

…In the morning. When life didn't suck quite so much. As it stood, it was nearly one thirty, and Saguru was dead tired. He made his way to Kaito's room and hopped in the shower before crawling under the covers.

The next morning, the sun was shining brightly and all seemed well with the world.

Until Hakuba remembered that his apartment was a certifiable disaster zone, Kudo owed him a new bed, and things were going to be very, very awkward between him and his crush if Sera remembered what had happened the previous evening.

Saguru took a deep breath and stepped out of Kaito's room, expecting to be greeted by the enormous dump his apartment had become.

Instead, a bubbly, bright-eyed Kaito chirped, "Hey there, Haku-chan!", and the apartment looked like a wild orgy had never taken place there at all.

"Want some pancakes?" Kaito offered, seeming to almost glow radiantly in his little apron.

"They're _really_ good," Shinichi vouched, giving his fiancé a quick smooch.

"…No." Saguru frowned as he took in his surroundings. "What happened to the apartment?"

"Sono-chan and I felt bad about all of the property damage, so she and Shin-chan are replacing your stuff. Sono-chan ordered the new couch and lamps and rug last night before she left, so they've already come. The globe and the curio cabinet, we're still waiting on."

"And your new bed is scheduled for delivery at three," Shinichi added.

Saguru looked around some more, impressed with the spotless state of his home. "It doesn't smell of booze. Is that a hint of lemon I detect?"

"Professional cleaners came and scrubbed the floors for you," Kaito informed as he flipped another hotcake from the pan to the plate. "Are you sure you don't want any? I've got a banana pecan one like you like."

"I'm fine. Thank you." Saguru waved away the offer. "But what time is it?"

"Almost one." Shinichi shrugged.

Saguru's jaw dropped. "I've…been out a lot longer than anticipated."

"Yeah. You sure you're not hungry?" Kaito motioned to the pancakes once more.

"I'm fine," Saguru replied hurriedly, rushing to locate his keys. "I've actually got to go take care of something. I'll be back in an hour or two…or less if it goes badly, more if it goes well."

Kaito smirked. "Then we'll hope we don't see you again until tomorrow so you get to spend the night with her."

Saguru glared half-heartedly.

Kaito continued to grin and even added a flirty little finger wave. "Got get 'em, Tiger."

Saguru sighed, accepting the fact that he couldn't win, and headed out.

He arrived at Sera's hotel twelve minutes later. He may have stretched the speed limit slightly, but he needed to see her, to clear the air between them.

"Oh. Hey there, Saguru-kun!" Sera greeted pleasantly…as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, as if she hadn't just had her tongue down his throat less than twenty-four hours prior.

"What's up?" She smiled cheerily, but on the inside she was sweating bullets.

He'd rejected her. She'd known it was going to happen, but…it still stung. And now her best bet was to pretend that she'd been too drunk to know what she was doing, too drunk to remember. Maybe if she pretended it hadn't happened, they could just keep being friends. She really hoped she hadn't messed everything up.

"Last night," Saguru began warily. "About what happened…"

Sera shrugged and rubbed at the back of her neck, chuckling nonchalantly. "Sorry for getting so drunk, Saguru-kun. I didn't mean to be so rowdy or…or whatever I did. I kind of remember you having to take me home, but… It's kind of all a blur after that stuff that happened with Kai-chan, but… Sorry for causing problems."

Now hopefully he would drop it.

Saguru frowned, pursing his lips. "Masumi-san… We need to talk."

"Oh?" She tried to play it cool, but she could feel her cheeks heating up. She couldn't meet his gaze.

"Yes. Because last night you kissed me, and I need to know if that was just the alcohol, or—"

"—I didn't—!" Masumi shook her head emphatically, holding up her hands in protest as she blushed like the dawn. "I didn't mean—"

"—Because I'm in love with you," Saguru continued, catching hold of her hand. "And so I think I have a right to know if last night was real or just some drunken mistake."

Masumi froze, gradually gaining the courage to look him in the face.

He was completely serious.

"But…Kaito?" Sera was still too surprised to believe it. "I thought…"

"Kaito's a precious sibling to me," Saguru explained. "Sometimes those lines get a little blurred, and I do love him as a brother and friend, but I'm not _in love_ with him the way I am with you. So don't misunderstand. You're the one who holds my heart."

Her eyes widened in awe mixed with disbelief. A soft gasp escaped her lips, but she was unable to answer him.

He looked at her, eyes pleading not to be rejected. "So…do you have feelings for me too, or shall we just pretend that none of this ever happened? Honestly, I'm fine either way, if you just want to keep being—"

She shot forward, sealing his lips with her own.

A few minutes later when they broke for air, Masumi chuckled, "That's a 'yes', by the way. In case you couldn't tell."

"I'd surmised," Saguru whispered into her neck. "And I can't tell you how glad I am."

"Not as glad as me," she laughed, nuzzling his ear. "God. Since college I've been jealous of Aoko-san and then jealous of Kai-chan. I thought I'd never catch a break."

"Sorry for the trouble," Saguru whispered, squeezing her hand gently and pulling back to look at her better. "I'd never realized that you had feelings for me."

"Well, that makes two of us," Sera snorted. "But I guess it worked out okay? I mean…we're dating now? Or…do you want to go out with me?"

"Y-Yes!" Saguru replied immediately and with enthusiasm. "Of course!"

"Good," she chuckled, grinning in triumph. "Then I wanna take you out to lunch."

"Shouldn't _I_ be the one taking _you_ , though?" Saguru blinked in confusion.

Masumi rolled her eyes. "I don't do traditional gender roles. If I say I wanna take you out to lunch, I'm gonna take you out to lunch. I'll open the door for you and pull out your chair and pick up the check. You're not the only gentleman around here, you know. I was known as something of a Prince Charming back in high school, and I don't intend to give that up any time soon."

Saguru thought about it for a minute. "You know, if it means I get to be with you, I really don't care who does what in the relationship, but can I be the man on our next date?"

"…Okay. But just don't treat me like I'm helpless. Yeah?" she cautioned.

"Understood," Saguru chuckled, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on her cheek. "I know that my Prince Charming is more than capable of fighting her own battles and taking care of herself."

"Good," Sera matched his laugh as she gave his hand a squeeze. "Let me grab my wallet, and we'll go. It's gonna bet magical; trust me."

…

"Aw, man. You're home already?!" Kaito bemoaned as Saguru walked through the door of the apartment. "So you didn't get lucky with Mi-chan after all?"

Saguru raised an eyebrow at Kaito's revealing evening gown. "No. We decided not to rush things. As you know, I had originally intended to wait for marriage…. But she took me out to lunch, and then we strolled through the park and talked. We got some coffee together and chatted. It was nice. And now I'm here. And you're in drag again. Why?"

Kaito shrugged. "Shin-chan's going to propose, and people won't clap and coo over us if I'm dressed like a guy. They'll give us dirty looks," Kaito replied matter-of-factly. "We live in a very judgmental world, so, in order for our love to be accepted, I have to cross-dress. It's a good thing I'm a knockout in a cocktail dress."

Saguru's frown softened. Kaito had it rough sometimes. "Yes you are. I hope you have fun."

"Thanks." Kaito turned and cast his friend a genuine smile. "And sorry. About all of this—the party, the drama. I—"

"—Don't worry about it," Saguru cut him off, waving away his apologies. "Everything turned out okay. My home was returned to its original state…plus one lava lamp."

"Housewarming gift," Kaito tittered, entirely much too pleased with himself.

Saguru shook his head, going to sit on his nice new couch…that looked exactly like his old one minus the stains. "It's nice…. It can go in your room. Anyway, the only thing I'm really upset at you for is that you didn't tell me about the fight with Kudo."

Kaito bit his lip. "Oh. I didn't?"

"No. You lied and said he was out of town," Saguru reminded.

"Oh," Kaito remarked quietly. "Sorry."

"You should have told me instead of hiding out here and getting yourself blind drunk and throwing yourself at Masumi and me," Saguru admonished softly.

"Whoops." Kaito fidgeted uncomfortably.

"I could have helped you, you know. We could have at least talked about it so you didn't have to feel miserable all by yourself." Hakuba's voice took on a soothing, motherly tone.

"I didn't want to admit that anything was wrong," Kaito mumbled.

"It's okay." Saguru came over and put a supportive hand on his best friend's shoulder. "I understand, but the problem was actually pretty simple to fix. You spent an entire week feeling down and out when you didn't have to. So…next time, just think about all that time you're not going to get back as a couple."

Kaito looked down to the side in regret. He sighed softly. "It's still hard."

"I know." Saguru gave him a reassuring pat. "But you know I'm not going to judge you or give you a hard time, so feel free to talk to me about anything when you're ready. I mean, I haven't judged you in the past during your kleptomania phase or when you cross-dress or even when you told me that you like men. If those things haven't made me reject you, nothing will, so you know you can tell me anything."

Kaito gave his friend a funny look. "You say it like those are bad things."

"Only the international jewel theft." Saguru shrugged.

"Fine." Kaito rolled his eyes. "I'll talk to you next time…so you feel free to talk to me about stuff with Mi-chan too. I know you're still not quite healed from Aoko yet, so…feel free to share your doubts and your fears with me too, okay?" He looked back at Saguru with a grateful, affectionate gaze.

"Thanks." Saguru smiled. "You have a nice night with Kudo. Don't stay out too late."

Kaito grinned. "Don't wait up for me."

It was at that point that Saguru decided. Kaito had earned the imported designer chocolates…but he was going to put the box inside an empty Swedish Fish package. Because Saguru had had to go through hell because of Kaito in order to get his happy ending.

The

End

…

Mikau: And done. ^.^ This one was fun chaos. Thanks again to Quincy for the prompt. Sorry it turned out more KaiShin than HakuSera like you wanted. ^.^; But I hope you guys had fun reading this. Thanks so much for tuning in!


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